Watashi Wa A M Desu
by Tsukino Aisuru - A
Summary: What happens when two girls from the real world suddenly appear in the world of Death Note - which is surprisingly more real than anyone realizes? Rated M for language.


_**Watashi wa A desu, watashi wa M desu**_

* * *

~_narrator's pov_~

* * *

It was a warm summer afternoon when two girls were walking downtown in Chicago to their favorite candy/sweets shop. They walked in, and the door made the usual dinging sounds as it opened and closed.

"Ne, Sa~m, whatcha gonna get today~?" The 5 foot 2 inches tall girl sang to her 5 foot 7 inches tall friend.

"Um, Jay, it all looks so good! I want to get the ice-cream - no, no! I want to get the..." Said girl with black hair on the top and blood red at the bottom blabbered.

"Haha! Well, I'm going to get the strawberry cake and some tea and sugar cubes!" Said girl with brown hair with yellow at the bottom laughed, taking out her wallet and walking to the counter.

The other girl looked at her friend and rolled her eyes. "*COUGH COUGH* obsessed! *COUGH COUGH*!" Sam muttered. "I'm going to get ice cream and french fries, and a milkshake!" She announced, walking to the counter with her friend.

The girls ordered their treats, paid and left the shop.

"Where do you want to go?" The brunette-and-blonde- asked.

"Well, A, I want to go to the park so people can see me eating ice-cream-fries." Sam said Happily.

The brunette-blonde rolled her eyes. "And here you go again with random different names referring to me with almost every sentence you speak.

"You got a problem?"

"Nope."

"Good."

Several minutes later, the two girls arrived at their destination: Lincoln Park.

"Strawberry~! I haz ice-cream fries~!" Sam sang.

Strawberry/Jay/A face-palmed. "WOW I have a lot of aliases..." She muttered. They sat near the fountain on a bench.

"Do you want some ice-cream fries, Cake?" Sam sang.

"... Not in the mood... Thanks, though..." Said Jay/A/Strawberry/Cake mumbled through her mouthful of strawberry cake and sugar filled tea.

"Well, it's good in case you think different, soon-to-be Mrs.L." Sam muttered through a mouthful of ice cream fries and smoothie.

"BAHAHA, I _**WISH!**_" saif girl squealed.

"Do you know who I want to be Mrs, too?" Sam asked hoping her friend would know.

"Um... Light?" The girl asked, sounding confused. "And if it is then NO WAY IN FLIPPING HELL. I also suspect Ulquiorra, Ukitake, Ichigo, and Pai. Hitsugaya is child-like in appearance so if him YOU PEDOPHILE!"

"Izuru Kira~!" Sam sang sweetly.

Said soon-to-be- Mrs. L grinned. "Kawaii~, ne~!" She giggled.

"Should I ask him out in my mind?" Sam said jokingly.

"In your mind he's probably already your husband," The other girl joked.

"No, actually I hit him in my mind and it's funny!" Sam says with an evil laugh.

"MWA HA HA HA HA AH AAHAAA HAA HA AHAA HAA HAA!" the other girl mimicked her laugh, however she was wondering why she hit Izuru Kira in her mind.

"So... are you sure about not ice-cream fri-?" Sam began, only to be interrupted by a burst of light and the loud boom that followed. "We should go somewhere safe!" Sam said worried about her and her friend. "We can get hurt! Oh! And my ice cream!" Her friend then snickered. It began pouring rain out.

The two girls screamed.  
"MY ICE CREAM! NOOOO!" Sam screamed and barely put the lid on her ice cream in time to save it. The same was said to her friend who goes by many names, who barely put the lid on her cake in time to save it.

The girls promptly began running for cover from the rain, however could not find any. The lightning blasted and the thunder boomed louder as the seconds grew to minutes.

"AHH!" The girls screamed as the lightning struck right by them, causing their hairs to stand on end because of the static energy. The lightning continuously struck near and around them in a dangerous pattern.

"LIGHTNING HATES MEH!" The girl who goes by many names wailed.

"AND ME!" Sam wailed as well.

"I KNOW, RIGHT?" The girl who goes by many names shouted. The girls could barely hear eachother due to the almost constant thunder. Another lightning bolt zapped right where they had been a moment before.

"I WANT TO CRY!" Sam screamed.

"SAVE MEH, L-SAMA~~~!" The alias' girl wailed.

Sam managed to shoot her a dirty look while they were running. "THIS ISN'T THE TIME TO BE FANTASIZING!"

"SHUT UP! I THINK WE SHOULD GET DOWN AS LOW AS WE CAN! WE CAN'T FIND COVER!"

No sooner had she said that than they were struck by the lightning and their world turned to black.

* * *

~_unknown time, unknown date, unknown place_~

* * *

~_Girl with many aliases pov_~

* * *

I slowly cracked open my eyes to find myself blindfolded and being restrained by metal. By blindfolded, I also meant by metal. Hm... The only situation of which I remember anything similar to this is when L has Misa in the room because she was suspected of being the second Kira. Interesting... time to play dumb!

"Um... Where am I?" I said slowly.

A few moments later, a metallic voice I recognized to be L's voice filter thing said, "You're awake?"

"Who are you?" I replied.

Of course, he didn't answer me, but instead asked, "What is your name?"

"Actually, I don't tell anyone my real name. Call me whatever you want. Just ask- WAIT WHERE'S MY FRIEND?" I shrieked, then wondered whether or not L was going to be a smart ass.

"The other girl with multi-colored hair?" L asked. Yay~, he decided not to be a smart ass! ^_^

"Yes!"

"She's in another room near you, however she hasn't woken up yet. What are you called?" L changed the question to mean something similar to his other.

"I'm called several things, actually. Jay, A, Strawberry, Cake, Strawberry Cake, Tea, Coffee, Sugar, Cubes, Sugar Cubes, Baby girl, woman-" I began.

"-I get it," L interrupted.

"I've also been called a bitch, whore, and cunt on several occasions, however only by drunken fools who my ex boyfriend proceeded to beat the shit out of, then they all got arrested." I informed him, then shivered at the memory. "Oh... Markus... I wonder where he is now... I hope he stays in jail... He may try to track me down and do _bad things_ to me if he does... Hence I don't tell people I don't trust with my life, and maybe even then my real name..." I shivered again. "Ohhh... Why did my first boyfriend have to be someone like him? Ohhhh, that was _not_ a good experience... Abusive jerk..." I whispered, pale and trembling at the memory of my ex attempting to kill me, me screaming and attempting to save myself. " ' IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU, NOBODY CAN!' I mean, does he even know how _cliche_ that sounded?" I shivered again. L remained silent. "Y'know, if you want proof, pull my shirt up and look at my back. I have a scar there from when he tried to stab me and missed, instead cutting me. He's crazy! Crazy, I tell you! The police told me he's gonna be put in an asylum when he's served his sentence!" He ignored my rant.

"Are you Lin?" He asked.

I blinked. "Who the hell is Lin?"

"... We found you in a strange way. What is the last thing you remember?" L went on as if I hadn't just asked who Lin was. T-T I guess my question answered him... T_T

"I was running for cover with my friend because a lightning storm started, and I think I remember being hit by lightning. AH! Were we found with anything?"

"Yes, it was confiscated and put into a special room for you if you ever woke up and are not Lin," He replied blankly. _Wow... He didn't eat my cake O_o_ I thought, amused.

"What'd ya think of mah friend's french fry ice cream?" I giggled. He, once again, ignored me.

"Have you recently killed anyone?"

I sweat-dropped. "Um... Is it possible to be any more _blunt_?" I questioned. He said nothing, probably waiting for my answer. "I have never killed a human in my life, and the only things I _have_ killed are bugs and insects, and I am not calling any humanoids that, either." I frowned when he once again said nothing. "I wanna be a detective when I go to college! Actually, I find the whole prospect of being a detective very interesting. I wonder if I can skip being a police officer and go right into being a detective, because my sisters say I _**HAVE**_ to be a police officer for, like, 5 years and then be offered a job as a detective before I can be one!"

"Is that so? How interesting." He replied, sounding uninterested. I deadpanned, though no one could see it. L can be really mean sometimes. T-T

"What do you plan on calling me? I always find that interesting. My friend calls me whatever she feels like I am at the time. She once called me Strawberry Shortcake, and once, when I was apparently being very deductive, observant, and calculative, she called me L! I really don't think she expected to have mashed potatoes all over her face... Good times, good times..."

"For YOU." I heard a faint voice shout. I sweat dropped.

"Was that..?"

"STRAWBERRY L! GET YOUR FAT WOMAN ASS OVER HERE!"

I grit my teeth. "_**STOP CALLING ME NAMES AFTER L, YOU BAKA!**_"  
"ARE YOU ALIVE?"

I would have face-palmed had I not been restrained by the metal. "_**NO, I'M DEAD AND ANSWERING YOU ANGRILY!**_"

I could practically hear her sarcastically gasp. "YOU'RE **DEAD** AND YOU'RE **ANSWERING** ME? THAT'S SO **INTERESTING**! I WANT THAT POWER! **TELL** ME, DEAD PERSON! **WHAT**IS **YOUR **_**NAME**_AND WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?"

"YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I'M NEVER TELLING MY ACTUAL NAME AND ALSO YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I CAME FROM AN EGG CELL AND A SPERM CELL JOINING TOGETHER IN MAH MOTHER'S BODY!"

"_**TMI! TMI! T! M! I!**_" She screamed.

"IF IT'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE ASKED!" I shouted back.

"DUDE, DID YOU PROPOSE TO HIM YET?"

"WHAT THE HELL? WHY WOULD I PROPOSE TO A ROBOTIC VOICE?"

"BECAUSE IT'S SEXY AND YOU KNOW IT! BY THE WAY, IS IT L? THE GUY YOU LIKE?"

"_ADMIRE!_ _**ADMIRE!**_" I screamed, my face red.

"_**You only say that because I'm right! I'm sure he's sexy, but I know you're more sexy!**__"_

I paled. "Has... Has she been looking at my curves?" I whimpered.

L stayed silent throughout this odd screaming conversation. Only after we fell silent did he speak again.

"I believe you both are now satisfied that both of you are safe." He said.

"Are you L, like I think you are?"

"Yes. I am L."

"I was right~!" I squealed happily. "Yay~! I'm not a complete idiot! But, really, you're my idol! Seriously. I mean, how can you not be? You're the world's best detective!" I giggled.

* * *

~_L's POV_~

* * *

"I mean, how can you not be? You're the world's best detective!" The girl who refused to give me her actual name giggled. I blinked once more, then studied her closely.

My suspicion of her being Lin is currently 13%. However, she seemed genuine when she told me she wasn't. She appears to not have lied throughout this interrogation. She also recognized my voice filter right away, which I would have only expected Kira to do. She then asked me if I was L, something I would only expect Lin to do. She repeatedly said that I am her idol, which was odd. Why would I be someone's idol? She did say because I'm the world's best detective - actually the world's top 3 detectives, but she wouldn't know that - but I never really expected anyone to say that. Overall, she's somewhat suspicious.

I focused my attention now on her friend and pressed the button for the microphone. "What is your name?" I said smoothly.

"Um... I don't feel comfortable answering that question until I know whether or not my ice cream fries are okay!" She announced. I blankly stared at the screen and put thumb on my lips. _Interesting reaction._

"Your ice cream fries are fine. What is your name?" I repeated my question.

"L-chan, - not you, my friend who acts like a detective - says not to give strangers my real name, so call me M." She replied. _More interesting... Both girls refuse to give me their real names. It's wise of them, but also abnormal for civilians to do..._ _ I wonder why she chose the letter 'M,' though, and why she just called her friend 'L-chan,' apparently after me._ "Are you going to kill us?" M demanded. I ignored her silly question.

"Has anything strange happened to you recently?" I asked the girl whom I don't know what to call.

"Um... I got struck by lightning, woke up here, found out you're real, got questioned, and got asked whether or not anything strange has happened to me recently." She stated.

I froze. "You got stuck by lightning?"

She frowned. "Yeah... Yet I'm still alive, without any burns or anything. I'd like to know what I'm _wearing_, 'cause whatever the hell it is, it's not comfortable, if I'm wearing _anything_, that is. 'Cause, y'know... I feel naked." She looked quite depressed. I ignored the clothes part.

I continued questioning her, then her friend. After several hours, I only needed one question answered for both of them: What is their real names? I needed to know so I could do background checks on them both.

"L-sama, I'm sure you understand why we don't want to tell you..." The girl with the aliases sighed, clearly tired. _L-sama?_

"I do, but that doesn't change the fact that I need to know." _Why L-sama all the sudden?_

"..." The girl seemed to be thinking. "If I tell you, will you tell me anything you find? Cause I have no idea what you'll find, if anything on me..." She muttered. I stared at the screen, perplexed. _She's still pulling the 'I was hit by lightning, magically ended up here and have no idea if I even have a life here or am a nobody here' gag? Interesting..._

"I suppose so, depending on what I find." I said slowly. She smiled.

"That's kind of you. You can tell- _**M**_ what I said, because that'll help her reach her own decision, however I'm going to have to ask that you don't let anyone else hear our real names. I will not trust anyone but L-sama with that information! It is that confidential! If you tell anyone, I'll... I'll..." She frowned, seemingly pondering what she would do. "I'll... um... Cry!" She decided. "And possibly die!" I found myself dragging my thumb along my lips again. This girl is quite odd."So are you alone now or will other people hear me?"

I frowned more. "No one will hear you." Everyone had gone to bed for the day.

"Alright, then listen carefully, because I'm only going to say this _once_, and _once __**only**_." She warned. "I am Tsukino Aisuru. Nice to meet ya, L-sama!"

"I see..." I murmured, already typing quickly into the computer. I pressed the button once more. "Thank you for your cooperation."

"It was my pleasure!" Tsukino Aisuru-san sang.

There was the famous model, Tsukino Aisuru, however they looked nothing alike. There was also a five year old Tsukino Aisuru, however that wasn't her either (she seemed to be in her early twenties or late teens). After a thorough searching for an hour and a half, I concluded that either that was not her real name or she truly did _not_ exist, or perhaps she was hidden that well. I slowly reached for the button.

"A-san, either you lied about your name, you hid yourself very well, or you truly do not exist." I stated. Her lips parted in shock.

"If L-sama can't find anything about me, nobody can." She said after a few moments. "I apparently do not exist."

"That is not possible. You are right there."

"Well you just stated it as an option!" She snapped, then huffed. "If it is not possible, then I magically ended up here. How did you find me, anyway?" She questioned. "All I remember is being struck by lightning, then I woke up here."

I frowned again. "You randomly appeared, unconscious, in my room," I informed her.

"I was in your ROOM the first time you saw me?" She shrieked, her face red. "Aw, come ON! That is NOT a good impression!"

"And your friend was in the hall," I added.

"Ch! Better than your ROOM!" She began sulking. "I mean, really, the first time my idol sees me is in his room, where I am NOT supposed to be!" She then smiled slightly. "What I'd give to have seen the expression on his face..." She mused. I, once again, felt my thumb on my lips as I thought about that.

"I may be a woman." I stated.

She froze. Then twitched. Then twitched again... and again... and then... burst out into insane laughter. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAHHH!" She shrieked laughter. "I'M SORRY! I'M- BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" She laughed hysterically again.

"Watari?" I asked as he had walked in with more cake and tea for me.

"Yes, sir?"

"Do you know why A-san is laughing hysterically because I stated the fact that it is possible that I may be a woman since she doesn't know my gender?" I questioned. His lips twitched.

"Perhaps she always assumed you're a man and is now picturing the man she thinks you'd look like as a woman instead." Watari suggested.

"I suspected." I murmured, in deep thought.

"AHAHA... hahaha... haha... ha..." She gasped. "Okay, I'm done." She blushed, still smiling and giggling once and a while.

"M-san," I said over the other speaker.

"What now?" She huffed.

"A-san has told me her real name. Please do the same." I said stoically.

She visibly paled. "YOU-" She then proceeded to call me many names that I will never repeat. She also accused me of torturing, sexually harassing and threatening her friend, of which I did attempt to dissuade her of believing, however she would not believe me.

"I assure you, I did nothing of the sort-" I began.

"THE HELL YOU DIDN'T, YOU SON OF A-"

"Please refrain from using further language of that sort." I interrupted her. "You may speak to A-san, if you wish."

"YOU BETTER LET US THE F#&$ OUT!" I sighed heavily at M.

"A-san, your friend insists that I am several names I will not repeat, and that I have tortured, sexually harassed and threatened you." I said to A-san. She visibly paled.

"Um... I think it best that I beat the shit out of her, because only that will prove you are not and have done none of those things..."

"How would violence be the answer...?" I inquired.

"She will know that I am upset at her for calling you those names that I am sure she did and for accusing you of those ridiculous crimes." A-san stated.

I gave the screen the girl was displayed on an odd look. "Proving that you are upset is not the point here."

"It will also scare her shitless and make her too afraid to not answer your questions."

"Please refrain from using physical violence against M-san." I requested.

"Too late, it's been done too much in the past. She started most of the fights, anyway," She mused.

"LET ME SEE A, GODDAMMIT!" M roared. I sighed, and, pressing a few buttons quickly, the two girl's masks were up and it was then revealed to them that they were in the same room as eachother, except very far apart. M twisted her head to see that they were slowly moving towards eachother, and the monitors/cameras/speakers were moving with them, steadily in front of them. "I was right all along, it _is_ that L asshole!" M exclaimed.

"If I wasn't restrained with this metal stuff..." A-san let the threat hang, and M visibly paled very greatly.

"Did you _really_, _willingly_ give him your real name without him doing anything to you?"

"Of course. This is L we are being held hostage by. L as in the best detective in the world. L, as in Life! L, as in Justice!" A announced.

"Um... Justice does not start with L..." M muttered.

"I don't care! L is justice!" A-san shot back angrily.

"L IS JUSTICE! L IS JUSTICE!" M squeaked loudly. My lips twitched.

"I'd pat you on the head and give you a random cookie, but, alas, I am immobilized." A-san replied sadly.

"A random cookie?" I questioned.

"Yeah, she makes cookies appear out of thin air!" M exclaimed. "Magic!"

"No such thing as magic!" A-san chuckled. "It's called randomness and awesomeness. And, before you ask, M, awesomeness IS a word! The definition is as follows: the quality of being awesome."  
"Only _you_ would..." M muttered.

"Hehe!"

I shook my head. These girls were obviously not murderers, however I would still like to do a background check on the one called M. "Miss M...?"

"OH, yeah, sorry, forgot about ya for a minute there while I was chillin' with Soon-to-be-Mrs.L!" She laughed. Soon-to-be-Mrs.L? What?

"I WILL TORTURE YOU." A-san shouted. M paled considerately. "I DO NOT L-"

"It's only a matter of time before he falls in love with your awesomeness. Look at you! Look at those curves!"

"So she _was_ looking at my curves..." A-san muttered.

"And your skills of deduction- you see all the smallest details that don't seem like anything, but later are everything!" M exclaimed. "You remember the exact placement my door was in when we went to the pool, then when you walked me home you knew something was wrong so you called the cops and it turned out there was a bunch of burglars in my house!"

A-san sweat-dropped. "The handle was all the way down when we left! Everyone else was on vacation, and when we came back the handle was horizontal! Had I not been there, you would have died - those men had _guns_!"

"I owe you my life because of your deductive skills!"  
"Ima be a detective!"  
"No shit, Sherlock!"

"I'm not _that_ good, am I?" A-san replied, confused.

"I want to facepalm _so badly_ right now.." M sighed, settling for a deadpan.

"What are you waiting for? Tell him your name." A-san sighed.

M swallowed. "I ain't gonna die, right?"

A-san began twitching. "I NEED TO FACEPALM!"

I pressed the button once more. "You will not die from simply telling me your name. I am not Kira and that case was solved already."

A-san stilled. "_**GODDAMMIT THE FIRST L BETTER AS HELL NOT HAVE DIED OR ELSE THIS WORLD WILL KNOW THE WRATH OF A CRAZED AND MOURNING FANGIRL GONE INSANE!**_"

I gaped at the screen. Is it possible for one girl to be so crazy if I had actually died? I honestly do not want to know. "I assure you that I am not dead."

"But- HOW? I thought that one Shinigami..."

"We had a plan that went exactly as planned. I did not die." I stated.

"YES! YES! YES!" A-san proceeded to start crying. "I'm so happy!" She squealed.

"Um... A? Have.. Have you... Dammit, L, you broke her!" M scolded. "You made her so happy that she broke!" I don't think I've ever sweat-dropped before. Well- before just now. It feels really... odd.

"Just tell him your name already!" A-san sighed, still crying and smiling.

"S-s-s-" M stuttered. "Sam M-Marilyn."

"Thank you for your cooperation." I said, then began researching that girl, too.

Once again... _nothing_. After hours and hours of researching those two girls, there was _no records or documentations of them_. _Anywhere_. I sighed, then pressed the button again. "No records of either of you two girls exist, or they are hidden by someone even better than myself."

"And that is impossible. L is the best. No one is better." A-san stated.

M then started coughing. "*COUGHCOUGH* OBSESSED *COUGHCOUGH*"

A-san glared at M. "I am only stating facts."

"Facts my ass."

"Who's Lin?" A-san asked me again.

"A thief and serial killer I am currently finding." I replied in a monotone. Her eyes lit up.

"Can I help? Or at least watch? _Please_?" She begged.

"No." I stated simply.

"OHH!" M-san. "Taken down! You were tall and strong, then L just came and tore you apart! Ripped you to shreds! You have fallen!"

A-san slowly turned her head towards M. "You wanna die?" She growled. M-san turned very white and quickly bobbed her head yes. "Too bad. You're gonna live a long and painful life if you make fun of me even ONE MORE TIME. I was hopeful. There was a 0.195% chance that he would let me help him! 0.195! I had to at least TRY!"

"... 0.195%? That's not very big..." M chuckled.

"For what I asked it's huge..." She muttered.

"You knew he would say no, so why did you ask?"

"I was hoping he would act out of character."

M face-palmed. "He will not act out of character. There is a 0% chance of that."

"Shuddup." A-san muttered. "A girl can dream."

"About nauuuggghhty thiinnngs!" M giggled.

"_You pervert!_" A-san gasped, horrified.

"Aw, shuddup. You know you want him."

" 'I can be a woman.' " A-san quoted.

"... You _can_ or you _are_?"  
"L-sama said that."  
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" M-san started laughing hysterically. _She has a... crazy... laugh..._ "_**L**_ said that?" Her expression: X'D A-san started giggling.

"Your laugh is contagious!" A-san exclaimed as she started laughing - _normally_ - with M-san. I felt the corners of my lips twitch. _I will not laugh._

"Can we go now?" M-san complained after their laughing fit had stopped.

"Go _where_?" A-san replied, confused.

"Um... Uh... Be homeless?" M-san suggested.  
"I NEED TO FACEPALM!" A-san wailed. "If L ever lets us out, we will somehow need to get IDs and such so we can get a job, then rent or buy an apartment or house, then go from there." A-san said, slightly annoyed.

"How the hell would we get an ID?" M-san huffed.

"No idea." A-san answered. I stared at the screen, disbelieving.

"You two don't even have IDs?"

* * *

**I know, I know, stupid place to end it, but still!**

**How was my first chappy? ^_^'**


End file.
